Dear Lilly
by amaltheaz
Summary: Dear Lilly, how are you? I hope you are doing well. AU Liley.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Dear Lilly  
**Disclaimer**: Unless mentioned, all the characters do not belong to me, but Disney, *sigh*.**  
Pairings**: Miley/Lilly  
**Ratings:** PG

**A.N.: **I know, I shouldn't be writing a new story when I'm kinda smack-dab in the middle of one that I haven't updated in a long time. Don't worry about **Near To You** though. I _am_ still writing it, it's just taking a while to gather my thoughts. Things have been hectic and lately I have been in kind of a mood so I didn't want to taint **NTY** with my angst as that's supposed to be a fluffy story. Which is where this new story comes in. Last night, I read **Annie on My Mind** (after what might be the gajillionth time now), and an idea came to me. I had to write it, and I think it might be a short series… We'll see how it goes.

It's kind of AU, but not really? Miley _used _to be Hannah Montana, but retired "Hannah" literally before graduating high school, because she wanted to concentrate on college and her future. She still loves music, still writes and composes, but isn't thinking of doing it for the rest of her life. Everybody you know and love will be here, of course, and there are the new characters, who I hope you will love.

I don't even know if this will make much sense or is much good, but here it is.

With all that I am, I wish you love,  
Az

* * *

**Dear Lilly**

_Dear Lilly,_

_How are you? I hope you have been keeping yourself well. Any interesting anecdotes about college life so far? I have been doing alright. College has been hectic but, I'm handling it. I've gotten to know some of the girls in my dorm. Some of them are very nice, some of them kind of distant. But we're all in the same boat really. We're all excited and scared. This is our first real time being away, and everything we do from the moment we stepped into our rooms, it's down to us. Our choices. Our lives truly belong to us now. _

_There are all kinds of girls here, Lils, some who completely embrace their stereotypes, and some trying to break from the one they've had to live with all their lives. I guess that's what college is about, isn't it? That break to be a different you. The real you. _

_And then you get those who aren't any stereotype at all. Like you can't say that they are just one thing, because they're not. They're a lot of things. Do you think maybe that's the real all of us? That we're all not just one, but so many different things? I'd like to think so. Life could just get pretty boring if we were just one thing all our lives. But I guess that's just me. I mean, if I were to be just one thing, it would be Miley Stewart, but I'd want Miley Stewart to mean more than just a name, you know what I mean?_

I pause, trying to unravel the torrent jumble of words circling in my head; trying to piece together sentences that would actually make sense. Sentences my hand would jot down on this piece of paper. But nothing comes. Words like "love", "heart", "wish" and "ache" chase each other like children playing tag on the playground.

I lay my head down on the table, releasing a small, dejected sigh. I don't know what I was thinking when I thought about writing this letter. And now I'm _actually_ writing it, it's like every plausible reason there might be, has completely escaped me.

What am I trying to say? What do I _want _to say?

My eyes survey the part of my room that is in my view, taking in the space that I've been living in for only a few months now. God, what a mess. I haven't even gotten to properly decorating the room. I haven't made the room scream, "This is Miley Stewart's room!" let alone say it. At least I have unpacked, and I _did _put up two pictures on the bulletin board on the wall next to my bed.

The first picture is of Dad, Jackson and I, on my 18th birthday earlier this year. Dad had planned to take us out for a picnic but it started to rain heavily and lightning was crackling across the sky so we decided to have our picnic inside instead. We even laid out the plaid blanket out on the living room floor. At least we didn't have to worry about ants. Those were the happier times.

The other picture is a Polaroid, of me and my best friend, Lilly Truscott. It's just one picture of many that I took of us together. This was taken during the summer, when we were on the beach, just hanging out. We're hugging each other tight and I'm kissing her cheek in this picture, our eyes are closed and a content look is both on our faces. My lips tingle remembering how it felt to be pressed against soft skin.

I take in the magnificent blue of Lilly's eyes that'll forever remind me of the limitless sky. Long golden blonde hair that'll make me think of the sun, and the previous summer days gone by, when my fingers would leisurely weave through it. Soft pink lips that'll make me recall those spent summer nights, filled with heat and pounding heart-beats.

_I just finished reading Annie on My Mind. It might be the fifth time I've read it but it still makes me ache all the same. It merges with this other ache that already has a name: yours. _

Another pause as I try to decide whether I should start over a new letter or just keep going.

No, I have to keep going. This needs to be done.

_I miss you, Lilly. I miss you _so_ much. I'm so sorry that we never got to say goodbye before leaving. I'm so, so sorry about the way our summer ended. Could we just erase that last part and always remember how we spent it? In each other's arms, because that's what I remember the most, Lilly. Being in your loving embrace was the only thing that kept me going. _Keeps_ me going. _

_I wish I had checked to make sure the door was locked. I wish I had heard the footsteps on the floor rushing up the stairs. Maybe if I had heard it, the summer wouldn't have ended the way it did. It could have ended with us in each other's arms, the way we spent that summer. _

I feel the sting of tears in my eyes, and I bite my bottom lip, trying to prevent a sob from leaving my lips. My hand hurts so much but I can't stop writing. My heart won't let it.

_It's been a few months since that summer day when you were taken away from me, Lilly. It's been a few months since we last talked. And I… I was just so scared, Lilly. And I didn't know what to do. After that, when college started up, I just wanted to forget everything. I threw myself into my school work but then I would find myself writing to you instead of writing about Mary Shelley and her Frankenstein. I always end up throwing those pieces of paper away because I knew they wouldn't find their way to you. I don't know your address. I thought we would have time to find out that information in the end. And I can't ask your parents. They'd sooner give your address to a terrorist than to me. I had to _literally _beg your brother to give me your address._

_And it's also because… I truly didn't know what to say to you. I would write "I miss you" and "I love you" on this page over and over again because that's all I really feel, Lilly. Because I feel if I were to see you now, those words are the only words that would spill from my lips. But I wanted to wait until I was sure I was ready. I just didn't realize that I _have _been ready for a long time._

_Oh god, Lilly. I want to see you so badly. _

_I'm so sorry I didn't try harder to get to you. I should have told our parents to just shove it. I should have fought harder because you are worth the fight, Lilly. I'm sorry if you didn't feel you weren't worth the fight. If I made you feel that you weren't. Because you _are_. You are worth every inch of the fight that I should have made. We are not wrong. We are beautiful. We are _so_ beautiful together._

_I'm so miserable without you, sweetheart. Please let me know that you are okay._

_I love you, Lilly. I miss you. _

_Love always,_

_your true_

_Miley_

I put down the pen, skimming over the letter I had written in the past half hour, not really seeing the words. I can't believe it. I _actually _finished it. I finished writing her a letter.

I draw a little heart at the top corner of the letter, colouring inside it, then I give it a little kiss, leaving an imprint of my lip gloss on the paper. I neatly fold the letter and slide it inside the envelope. My hands shake slightly as I write Lilly's name and address.

I hope this gets to you, Lilly.

Please.


	2. Chapter 2

**A.N.**: Wow, the response to this spontaneous story of mine is actually very cool. Very, very cool.  
The mention of **Annie on My Mind** is mostly of convenience. I had been thinking of a story to write along these lines but I needed some kind of shove to do it. I picked it up 'cause it had been awhile since I read it and somewhere in the middle, the words just came to me. So adding it in the story was more of a salute.  
I'm actually trying to find more similar books so if you can recommend anything for me, I would be more than grateful.

Now, I have been going back and forth about whether I should leave the first chapter as a one-shot but I guess the more I thought about it, and given recent events, I would like Miley to have her happy ending. So, I edited a few bits in the first chapter and here be the second chapter!

I don't actually know how college works in the US, apart from what I see in movies and read in books. I went to college in the UK, so I'm using that setting example instead.

With all that I am, I wish you love,  
Az

**P.S.**: Some slightly bad news, from Friday, I will be going away on vacation for two weeks, so there won't be another update after this. This is a filler chapter, to set up for the next one... Which will come in two weeks.  
And here are some reading recs for fics that have caught my eye today and also to soften the blow of this really crappy chapter, lol (and writers, I _promise_ I will review when I get the time after getting back from holiday):  
**Being and Belonging **by hippie-elf-chick (I think it's starting to get _really_ juicy… And a heart-broken Miley is like my crack or something 'cause I can't get enough of it)**  
Lessons **by croaker001 (I love this story… It's so beautiful and heart-warming)**  
Hey There Miley **by JBPones (A broken Miley = my heroin… 'cause I just realized how wrong 'my crack' sounds now)**  
One Thing **by O'Reilly9 (Broken Liley fixing each other = love. Just, love.)**  
Let Me Go Home **by Anti-Gravity111 (Miley's just frickin' awesome. And this Miley is awesome at sports!)

* * *

**  
Chapter 2**

Five weeks.

That's how long it's been since I sent Lilly that letter.

I worked it all out in my head though. I gave time for the letter to reach her in the first week. The next two weeks for her to read and process it. The fourth for her to decide whether to reply or not. Which brings me to now.

The fifth week.

Limbo.

Understandably, I'm a nervous wreck. A massive ball of anxious energy.

So here's where I find myself: outside my room, down on the floor, leaning against my door, nervously tapping my foot on the floor to a random rhythm in my head. Distracting myself with the many sounds and movements in the hallway. Avoiding thoughts like, will she write back? _Has _she written back? Or did she decide _not_ to reply? Did she decide to give up on me? On us?

No amount of hustle and bustle can distract me, but I still try.

A small optimistic part of me thought that maybe she'd call. Or even drop everything to come see me as soon as she had read it. But seeing as five weeks has passed, I don't think either would be happening now.

"Hey Miles."

I look up to see Laura, who lives across from me. She's steadying the armful of books that she's carrying before leaning against her door to face me.

"Oh hey Laura. Just got back from the library?"

"Yeah, cramming for exams is so not awesome. I know better things to do in the dark corners in the library that _don__'__t_ involve musty old books."

"You know you didn't _have _to pick Philosophy as a major."

"Not all of us know what we want to do for the rest of our lives like you do, Miss I-Don't-Really-Have-To-Work-'Cause-I-Used-To-Be-Hannah-Freakin'-Montana-So-I'm-Stinkin'-Rich Stewart."

Yes, she knows about me being Hannah. It was one of the first things I told her, before I got to telling her about Lilly. She knows all about Lilly now.

"Hey now, don't be hatin' on the former pop-star just 'cause she was smart in saving up her money. And anyway, it's not like I have access to that money so I'm living my life with you little people for now."

She makes an exaggerated bow, "And we little people are _truly _honoured to be in such presence as yours, Miss Montana."

"You're such a dork, Sanford."

Laura proceeds to look at me with her bottom lip jutting out to form a pout, "You find that hot though, right?"

"Oh yeah. I'm secretly swooning and melting inside because of your dorkiness that I find ever so hot."

"Y'know, I hear you saying it, but I don't think you're actually _feeling_ it. You're lucky I like you, Stewart, that I can forgive you so easily for wounding me so deeply. I might never recover from this."

"Yep, I am lucky indeed, you drama queen. I hope that luck will continue working for me now."

"Does that hope have anything to do with the reason why you're sitting outside your room?"

"Tiny bit, yeah."

"Does it also have something to do with a girl, whose name starts with an 'L' and ends with a 'Y'?

"More than a tiny bit, yeah."

"Still waiting for that reply huh?"

"I just don't get it! It's been five weeks. _Five_ weeks. I should be hearing something by now, right?"

"Maybe she's just busy, Miles. It is that time of the year when we're all cramming for exams and stuff. Maybe your letter while, appreciated, just came at the wrong time of the school year."

"Those are just way too many maybes. I'm going to end up with gray hair before I reach 22 if I keep tango-ing with those maybes."

"Can't have that, can we? Wait a sec while I throw my books away?"

"Sure, I'll be right here. Sittin', wishin'… and hopin'."

"Cute."

I give her a cheeky smile and an exaggerated wink, "Comes naturally, darlin'."

With a dramatic roll of her eyes, Laura opens her door to _literally_ throw her books in her room.

"You know, when you said 'throw them away', I didn't think you actually meant '_throw _them away."

"Hah. At the rate I'm going in my cramming, I'd throw them _every _which way if it means I'd be rid of them. Anyway, let's go then, Miss Stewart! _You're _taking me out for coffee."

I stretch my legs before standing myself up, "What? Shouldn't _you _be paying for coffee since this is, what I _assume_, to be an effort to cheer me up."

"Of _course_ it is."

"So why am _I _paying for the coffee?"

"Because, I'm giving you the pleasure of my _charming_ company, and that's _at least_ worth one Grande Mocha with whipped cream."

"Y'know… There _are_ women out there who ask for money for the exchange of their _charming_ company, not coffee. Or are you just working your way up to that?"

I walk a little faster, laughing when I see pure shock on her face. I start running down the stairs, when she quickens her pace, trying to catch up with me, yelling at me to "come back here so I can whoop your ass!"

In these moments, I blissfully forget my troubles. Only in these moments.

* * *

_Two days later_

Another _gruelling _day filled with lectures and seminars over and done with. I just want to go upstairs to my room, throw myself on the bed and sleep the rest of the day away. Before I can make my way up the steps, I hear Jessie calling my name to come over to the front desk.

"Hey Jessie, how are ya?"

"Doing good here, Miles. I've got some mail for you."

Cell phone bill.

Letter from Dad. Hopefully to tell me that he has wired me the money to pay for aforementioned phone bill.

Flyer for an LGBT meeting tonight, with a small note from Laura attached to it.

"_Hey cowgirl, wanna go walkies with me later? Never know, it could be fun. Knock on my door and we'll talk about it. I'll be in my room, mulling/killing myself over Aristotle and Socrates… So, save me anyway!_

_xXxXx_

_L.E.S."_

I can't help but let out a laugh. Every time she leaves me a note, she'll sign them with her initials. When she first told me her full name, _Laura Elizabeth Sanford_, I could not hold back the laugh that was itching to come out. But Laura was very cool to not take offence. She said that if she weren't cool about it, people would keep making fun of it, so by being cool about it, everybody else would be too. She's a smart one, that girl.

Letter from Mamaw. Probably wanting to know why I haven't called her in awhile.

Letter from…

_Oh god. _

My fingers trace the words on the envelope. My heart beats faster, knowing that she was the one who wrote this. My name written by her own hand. My breathing, becoming so quickly shallow and rapid, I'm barely holding on. I lick my lips when I realise how dry they've gotten.

_Oh god, this is it. _

"Miley, you okay?"

I shake my head to break myself out of my stupor to see concern on Jessie's face. I reassure her that yes, I'm fine and that I would see her tomorrow. As soon as "thank you" leaves my lips, I turn to walk up the stairs. As fast as they can take me, my legs lead me up the steps.

I only live on the first floor but my room has never felt so far.


	3. Chapter 3

**A.N.: **I'm back!

You know, you guys are actually kind of awesome with your reviews. Even if you did forbid me to go on vacation (lookin' at _you_ croaker, :-p). But, I managed to churn out **'Hook, Line and Sinker'** instead of the 3rd chapter of **Dear Lilly**. I even have a completely _new _idea for a story. I've only written notes on it in my journal as I want to get this story finished and then getting to **Near To You**, and then I can get started on _that _story. During my vacation, I managed to write small bits of Lilly's letter when I could, and I think I've come to a point where I know I'm going for the rest of the story, yay. I had to take my time with this chapter because I started off writing Lilly's reply, so I had to build the next two chapters around that letter. And Lilly's reply was definitely not an easy write because I wasn't sure whether I should add in Miley's thoughts after certain sentences/paragraphs but I did anyway. And because of that, the beginning of the letter might be a little... disjointed, 'cause I was still trying to get around to what Lilly wants to say.

Yes, Laura is definitely a great friend to Miley. She does her best to distract her from wallowing in her unhappy-Lilly-thoughts, for which Miley is very grateful. And oh man, I have an _excellent_ back story to how they became friends. It might come as a companion one-shot piece in the near future, I think.  
Oh, and Laura Sanford = Taylor Swift. Just so you'll have a face to the name. At least, that's the face _I_ see when I write her anyway.

This chapter might have some errors. I've double-checked but I'm feeling poorly so I'm more likely to miss some things. But I hope you like. Next chapter is coming along shortly.

With all that I am, I wish you love  
Az

* * *

**Chapter 3**

My hands are shaking, fumbling when I try to unlock my door. Several people walk by, saying hello in passing, and I absent-mindedly respond, completely distracted in trying to unlock my door and anticipating what is inside the envelope. I walk in after successfully unlocking my door, carefully laying everything on my table. I breathe in and out, looking around my room, trying to calm my hammering heartbeat. I switch on the radio that's currently playing a Kelly Clarkson song.

Picking up my letter opener, I carefully tear through the envelope. Inside were a letter of five pages, neatly folded, and a small card. I set the card aside for later, as I anxiously unfold the pages, catching a whiff of that very familiar scent of Lilly's perfume: Thierry Mugler's Angel.

It reminds me of one part in a Dashboard Confessional song, "_Breathe deeply from this envelope, it smells like you and I can't be without that scent. It's filling me with all you mean to me… To me."_

I love that song. It reminds me of the many letters that Lilly sent me back when we were just friends, and the letters from when we were together. She always said that she prefers to write her letters rather than type them out. She says that the fact that somebody can take the time and energy to compose a letter for another person; it just says so much more about the person. And when that letter happens to be a love letter, it's just so much more romantic. Which I can definitely attest to; when I received the first of many love letters from her, I couldn't stop tracing the words imprinted on the little pieces of paper, imagining Lilly taking her time to tell me what was in her heart.

Sometimes she would write me these long, long letters, when she would open up to me and tell me things about her dad, her hopes, her dreams for our future, and other things that she always found so difficult to say to me in person. Lilly is a talkative person by nature, but she never found it easy to tell anybody how she was feeling, or anything to do with what was deep inside of her. She allowed me to get to know that part of her.

I can only hope that despite what has transpired in our lives, she will allow me back in again.

I take a deep breath, glimpsing Lilly's neat, cursive handwriting on the pages and I begin.

_The annoying part of co-ed dorms are when the boys think it__'__s funny to hang their condoms on your doorknob. Their_ used_ condoms. Actually it__'__s not even just the boys, the girls do it too. Like it__'__s some victory that they managed to hook up with somebody. What do you think girls could hang up if they sleep with other girls? Tampons? Diaphragm maybe?_

I smile at the familiar way Lilly began her letter. She _never _starts with the formality of "Dear" or my name, even. She likes to begin with whatever is on her mind, making it seem like we're in a middle of a conversation. Though that is definitely a guaranteed attention-getter; talking about used condoms and tampons. Now I'm _really_ glad I opted for an all-girls' dorm.

_Sometimes I find myself wondering why we do the things we do. This long-standing college tradition of "hooking up" with somebody. Does it mean_ anything _to the people who do it? I don__'__t know really. From the friends I have made here, it__'__s a mix. Brenda says yes, it means that they are that one person closer to the person with whom they're going to spend the rest of their lives. And Lee… Well she just goes off about how everything really just boils down to mindless sex and that everybody should just get "fucking" on with it, so to speak._

_I know I made her sound as slightly off-__colour__ but I think you'd like her as she's taken a sort of older sister role when it comes to me. Like she always tells me about the people to look out for, or if I happen to be talking to somebody she knows isn't right, she'll tell them to back off. I know you would probably appreciate that I have somebody in my life now who would take care of me, especially since you're not here to do so. _

Okay, I wasn't _too_ impressed with the "fucking" statement, but anybody who looks after the girl I love with care definitely gets top marks from me.

_And I don't think there hasn't been a day when she's not making us laugh so hard that our stomachs hurt to the point of actually _wanting_ to throw up. Every morning, she, Brenda and I meet for breakfast, well, _brunch_, because according to Lee, waking up at 7 a.m. for anything is a _heinous_ crime. Some mornings, she would always have a hilarious story for us about the boy that she hooked up with the night before. Brenda would scold her, and make sure she remembered to use protection, and somehow _always_ has the optimism to ask whether Lee would see them again. And that is why Brenda has been tagged the incurable romantic among the three of us. She dreams of her home with a white picket fence, and a family that she'll love no matter what. She believes that one day there will be a boy who will Lee's complete attention for longer than a night, and that you and I will... Well, I'll tell you about that some other time. _

You and I will what? You and I will what?!

But wow, she told them about us and what happened? I can't imagine what she must have said to her friends about me, about us. I wouldn't blame her if she painted me as some coward who abandoned her just like that. I know that I do.

Though I am very glad she made friends who look out for her as much as Laura looks out for me. I don't know where I'd be without her.

_I can't say that I'm much of an expert of the subject. Considering I _don't_ want to hook up and the last relationship I was in, well, I'm sure _you_ remember. _

Yeah, _ouch_.

_But, I think that Brenda__'__s right and wrong, at the same time. That yes, it _does_ mean something, this temporary post-adolescent mating ritual. But not the something that she thinks. I think people try so hard to be with other people, because at the core of it all, I think we__'__re just missing something. Like there__'__s a big hole inside of us so we keep trying to fill it with things we think would take over that gap, like something that _looks _like love, but really isn't; or sex. But nothing can ever fill that gap. Because we don__'__t know what is missing. How can we fill it if we don__'__t know?_

_There is this girl. Her name's Amanda. _

Shit.


	4. Chapter 4

**A.N.:** I know, that cliff-hanger was _very_ mean but I figured that'd be the best place to end the chapter because then it's not just Miley coming to a complete stop, but you too. And I would have posted this on Thursday but I found out that I'm flying off somewhere on Thursday so, a day earlier is alright, yeah? And don't worry, I'll only be gone for the weekend, :-p.

And hey now, don't hate too much on dear Amanda. She's just a little, temporary plot device. But I am glad to see that this story is getting under your skin for you to get really angry about her presence. It will go well with Miley's reactions.

At first I wanted to write a chapter of Miley mulling over what Lilly could be saying after that sentence. Basically panicking and just plain over-reacting about who this 'Amanda' could mean to Lilly, etc. etc. But I thought that it's basically implied y'know? The panic and insecurity that Miley has to be feeling after that sentence, has got to be palpable. Plus, I didn't want to string this story along for too much longer. I just want to get the girls together _already_, lol.

I think this might just be the longest chapter I've ever written. Forgive any errors as I am really, really sick, so everything's kinda blurry to me now, lol.

With all that I am, I wish you love,  
Az

* * *

**Chapter 4**

I open her door, rushing in to find Laura sitting on her bed, reading a book, "There's a girl."

Without looking up at me, she responds, "There're lots of girls. Which one are you talking about that's got you barging into my room without so much as a knock, Miss No-Manners?"

"Amanda."

"Which Amanda? The one that keeps telling me to ask Jesus to save me; the one that thinks she's from the 1950's or the one that goes out to 'sunbathe' in front of the boys' dorm?"

"None of them."

"God, is there _another_ Amanda?"

"No."

"Okay. Miles, I'm in the middle of finding out who the real killer is, stop killing my discovery-buzz. _Which _Amanda are you talking about?"

"The one in Lilly's letter." _That_ got her to look up, and notice the pieces of paper in my hand.

"Lilly wrote back?"

I nod in reply.

Laura jumps from her bed, to hug me, exclaiming, "Miley, that's fantastic!" She stiffens and pulls away when she notices my lack of response "Isn't it?"

"Well, yeah… Except-", I look down at the letter, biting my bottom lip, not wanting to say it again, but thankfully, she understands, "Oh."

"Yeah."

"There's a _girl_."

I sigh dejectedly, "Yeah."

"Amanda."

I walk over and ungracefully plop myself on her bed, covering my face with her pillow, "That's the one."

"So what does she say about this girl?"

"I don't know. I kinda panicked and, stopped reading."

"_Miley_."

I pull the pillow off my face to see Laura with her hands on her hips and a scolding look on her face. I sigh again, "I know. I know! I shouldn't be assuming things when I don't know the real situation. I know I should keep reading before jumping to conclusions. And don't! _Don't_ quote Buffy to me. Making me laugh is so not appropriate right now, Sanford."

"Whatever Stewart. You totally wanted to say it too."

"Yeah, Buffy is just too damn quotable."

"Yes she is. Now, get out."

"Excuse me?"

"Get out of my room and into yours and finish that letter. _Then_ you can come back here and give me a full report. A full _rational_ report."

"Oh as opposed to this half-assed panic-fuelled _irrational_ report you mean?"

"_Exactly_."

"Ugh, you suck."

"I love you too, cowgirl."

* * *

I pick up my Ipod as soon after setting foot in my room, docking them to my speakers, choosing the play list I made for Lilly over the summer. Sarah McLachlan's voice invades the silence.

_There's this girl._

Okay, Miley, breathe in, breathe out. You can do this.

_There's this girl. Her name's Amanda. She lives in the same dorm as me, on the floor below me. We bump into each other often and we talk about a lot of things. She reminds me of you sometimes, Miles. She even looks like you a little bit. She's got very beautiful, soft-looking wavy chestnut hair and there are times when all I want to do is reach out my hand, just to run my fingers through them. Just so I could have some sort of tactile sensation to go with my thoughts of you._

I quickly swallow the urge to vomit, enduring the choked feeling of jealousy and pain in my throat. I can feel my heart palpitating to a fast, unknown, unstable rhythm, as I try hard to catch my breath. I feel like all my blood is rushing to my brain, like the world is closing in on me.

_But something always stops me. _

Out loud, I exclaim in relief, "Oh, thank God!"

Wanting to calm down before continuing , I put down the letter and close my eyes, seeing nothing but blackness. Sarah's voice invades my hearing and I feel a soothing vibration go through me. I take a hold of myself, taking deep breaths until I could feel my heart beating normally.

I obviously cannot say that it didn't bother me that Lilly has met somebody who she seems to like and has admitted to wanting to… Touch. But in a way, I'm kind of glad that it's because she's thinking of me? Or does that sound really screwed up?

_It's her eyes. They're not the eyes of deep ocean-blue that I know and love. They're green instead. They're a _shimmering_ absinthe green that at times, that I actually do find mesmerizing when they're intensely staring right back at me, but, I still know. It's just not you. _She's_ not you. Her smile _doesn't_ make my heart thump so hard to the point that I feel like it actually wants to _escape_ my rib-cage. The mischievous glint in her eyes _doesn't_ make that fluttering in my stomach feel like she's fanning the flames of my growing desire into a full-blown fire. And her touch, even a friendly hug… It doesn't leave me desperate for _more_. _

_But, there are those days, when I look at her, I would think of you and my vision would blur and I'd see you instead of her. My heart would try to pummel its way out of my rib-cage, and the fluttering would start growing in flames, and my body starts heating up. I feel that flush rising in my cheeks. I would lose myself in that phantom ecstasy just to see your face when I close my eyes. A phantom ecstasy that leaves me _desperate_ for you._

My eyes close, picturing Lilly getting flustered just because her eyes led her into an illusion where she thought she was seeing me. My annoyance with this Amanda grows as _she _gets to see Lilly, blushing red in her cheeks that I absolutely adore.

I open my eyes to see that picture of us on the beach.

I wish she were here with me right now.

_I know that you have been waiting for this reply. And I'm sorry I took so long. I knew what you wanted to hear and I knew what I wanted to say, but I didn't know whether I could give it to you. Not yet. _

_I was so _angry_, Miley. At first I thought I was angry at _you_ because you didn't try hard enough. That you just left me behind after that _one_ try. They sent me to see some psychologist who specializes in "fixing" our "problem". And the things she said to me were so _ridiculous_. Once she said that you really were the missing maternal figure in my life since my mother was working so much of the time. I laughed her right out the door. But one thing she said to me made sense, that I needed some space and time from you, from us, from everybody; to really think about what it is I feel. _

_And over these past few months, after having had so much time and space to think, I've come to realize that I _was_ angry, at the _both_ of us. Because we didn't fight for us. After so _many_ made promises that we'd never let anything get in between us, we let fear wedge itself so easily, and we hurt ourselves in that process. So please Blue, don't take all the blame on yourself. You weren't the only one. _

I try to swallow a different choked up feeling in my throat; a feeling of elation at being called Blue again; Lilly's code nickname for me when she wants to tell me that she loves me but couldn't. Like when we were surrounded by people who didn't know about us being together, she'd say, "Hey Blue" with that loving smile and that secret twinkle in her eyes.

_My first day of college, I felt so _relieved_. I got away from parents who had been doing nothing but keeping the closest eye on me. You say they'd sooner give a terrorist my address than give it to you. Me, I can't even really _describe_ how they treated me. I'd see my mother with this look on her face, like she's asking herself what she's done wrong. And it's mixed up with this feeling of maternal love that she can't help but have for me because I came from her. Other times it's just this look of quiet desperation, like she's in constant prayer to her _god_ that she would give everything and anything in her possession for something that would just set me back on the right way. My dad won't even look at me. The only screwed-up bright side to all this, is that it brought my parents back together. Trying to fix their "broken" gay daughter. _

_And I'm sorry for your own family situation. I know your dad only got to hear what actually happened from my parents, but I can imagine that he wasn't too happy about it either. When I was able to go around without supervision, you had already left. But I guess that was why. I went to your house and you weren't there. I talked to Jackson instead, and he told me that your dad had put you under lock-down in your own home after that day you came knocking on our front door trying to get them to understand. They knew that it was the only way to keep you away from me. I can't imagine what that must have been like for you, Miles. I know that you always thought of your home as a safe place. A place where you could go to escape everything, and then it turns into a place that you can't escape at all. Your sanctuary became your prison. _

I feel a flash of pain in my heart at Lilly's hurt and bitterness towards her parents. I don't feel any such bitterness towards my own dad for what he did. Anger and hurt, yes, because he did hurt me with the way he treated me but I knew it was because he didn't know how to handle it. Because I know that deep down, he still loves me. He could have thrown me out of the house but he didn't. He could have kept me inside the house and not let me go to college, but he did. And I know, that once he gets his head out of his ass, he'll be my dad once again.

_I knew that after college, there was no way I could stay if things stay the way it has been going now. Strained conversations and awkward phone calls. That's now how it should be. I want to be able to call my own mother and tell her that the boy who lives next door to me has the voice like a cat that's currently being strangled, but he just doesn't. Stop. Singing. _Regardless_ of the noise complaints he gets (mostly from me). I want to be able to tell my dad that I am alright, and surviving college life, and that he would like my professors. _

_And I want to be able to tell them about this piercing ache I feel when I'm thinking about the girl I love because I miss her so dearly. _

_Oh Miley. Of _course_ I am okay. I'm better than okay now I received a beautiful letter from you. How can I not be? You have no idea how much I wanted to just, take your letter with me and come to you straightaway. I have missed you so much, Miley Stewart. _

_Forever yours,_

_Your one_

_Lilly_

_P.S.: Use the card._

I put down the letter, searching for the card that I had put aside, wondering what was on it. When I finally find it, written on the card was a phone number. Her phone number.

Picking up my phone, I keyed in the numbers, hesitating before pressing 'OK' to dial. Her words about missing me and loving me, swirling around in my head; getting mixed in with my insecurities and my doubts. Thinking about whether I should or shouldn't, losing myself in the "what ifs".

She said to use the card, so I should, right? What if she's asleep? What if she's busy? What if-

I look up when I realise that I had zoned out while somebody has been banging on my door a couple of times. Assuming that it's Laura, probably with her arms filled with books again, banging my door to get my attention, I put down my phone, and get up to open the door for her, "Alright already. Take a chill pill, I'm coming!" I get a glimpse of blonde hair before I am _barrelled _inside my room and slammed back against my door.

I straighten myself up, berating her while waiting for my blurred vision to clear, "Sanford! Are you _trying _to give me a concussion? What the hell is wrong with yo- Lilly?"

Once I could see one of everything, I see her as clear as day. Lilly Truscott. _My _Lilly. All 5'2" of her, a mix of guilt, apprehension, and love swirling in her electric sky-blue eyes.

She's _here_.

And she's giving me that half-smile that makes my palms sweat and my heart pound faster than a freight train, "Hey Blue."


	5. Chapter 5

**A.N.: **Oh wow, the response to the last chapter has been overwhelming. Thank you so much, you guys. I really appreciate the love this story of mine has been getting. It motivates me to write to the best of my abilities.

And hey, Lilly's here!

Yeah I'm kind of surprised myself about bringing Lilly in so quickly but that's what happened. Fingers typing, and suddenly Lilly is slamming Miley against her door.

I'm sorry I took awhile with this chapter. I've been bed-ridden with the most ridiculous sore throat _ever_. And I would like to warn you in advance that this weekend is my brother's wedding reception, so Chapter 6 will take a little longer to come out but no worries, I've got it all planned on paper. Seriously, this wedding, work and writing has kept me so busy I haven't even had the time to read any of the fics I love, like **Hey There Miley **(JBPones) and **One Thing **(O'Reilly), until now anyway. I probably have a lot to catch up with when the wedding is finally over. Though that won't be so bad since I like reading a lot of chapters in one go, lol.

Enjoy Chapter 5! I hope it won't disappoint.

With all that I am, I wish you love,  
Az

* * *

**Chapter 5 **

She looks up at me, scanning my face, as if she's trying to reconcile her memory of me to what she's seeing now. Checking to see whether there is something different, whether there is something new. Whether she still feels the same way about me now that we're right in front of each other.

I also take this silent moment to do the same and really look at her.

There's an unmistakable air of maturity and self-assured confidence surrounding her that wasn't there before. I can't help but feel a small ache in my heart. I _missed _that. I missed seeing her transition from teenager to mature young woman.

Her sky-blue eyes still look as brilliant as they have always done, and they're shining so bright and intensely that I can barely breathe. She let her hair grow out almost as long as mine, and they're coming out in smooth waves. My eyes then land on her lips, her mouth slightly open as she's trying to catch her breath. They follow her tongue wetting her dry lips, alerting me to my own dry lips, and suddenly _dry _throat.

"Lilly, what-"

"I'm sorry I pushed you in like that. I- I just couldn't wait. I saw you and I just wanted-" she hesitates again, and unconsciously pouts in frustration that she can't find the words to say to me. I groan internally, only just realising how _long _it has been since my lips last met the lips that are currently jutting out adorably, begging for my undivided attention.

It has been _too _god-damn long.

"Lilly, whatever you want to say to me right now, it can wait."

"It can?"

"Yes," and with that quick reply, I make a spontaneous move of grabbing her hips and pulling her against me. She lets out a surprised squeal as I lean down to place my mouth on hers, giving them the undivided attention I've been wanting to give for so long now.

There is a small second of hesitation, our lips reacquainting themselves with each other, and as soon as that moment is over, it's like a well-practised tango. Lips and tongues fighting for dominance, hands gripping flesh or moving over it, nails leaving red trails over goose-bumped skin. Powerful feelings of electricity exchange between our overheated bodies. A thick, heady air of desire quickly surrounds us, with only our breathless moans and unrestrained whimpers filling in the silence.

With just her strawberry gloss, she would have tasted the same. But there was something new, something different. Peppermint maybe?

Rubbing my hands over her arms, I could feel how much more toned and defined they are, lifting them up to circle around my neck. She must have started working out more since she's been in college.

But even with the different taste and the different feel, with her arms around me, she still feels like home.

Next thing we knew, we were on the floor.

"Hey Stewart! You wanna go grab a cof- Oh shit, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were behind the door. Are you alright?"

I turn to glare at Laura after getting off Lilly, wincing at the pained groan she lets out, "Yeah about that, don't you _knock_?"

She lets out an annoyed scoff, "This, coming from the girl who barged in my room yelling, 'There's a girl!' What if I had been behind that door? At least _I _apologised, unlike _some _people."

I cross my arms indignantly, "I did _not _yell, and _shut up_." I mumble through clenched teeth, my eyes making an obvious show of signalling downwards to Lilly, who was still on the floor.

"You shut up."

"No _you _shut up."

As I was about to respond, I feel Lilly's hand on the base of my calf, and we hear a slightly slurred speech, "I hate to interrupt this _thrilling _discussion but could you kids continue your fighting _after _somebody helps me up from the floor, since I can't get these stars to stop flashing."

"Oh shit, sweetheart I'm so sorry you had to break my fall," I look into her eyes making sure she could see only one of me, while holding on to her hands in my own, keeping her steady.

She lightly squeezes my hands in reassurance, "It's okay, Blue."

In the corner of my eye, I could see Laura looking quizzically between Lilly and I, and then finally ending her questioning gaze on Lilly, "So, judging from the terribly _vomit_-inducing smiles you guys have on your faces, you're the famous Lilly?"

"I guess Miley's talked about me, huh?"

A smug smile crosses Laura's face and I _knew _she was going to totally sell me out, "Talked about you? More like, waxed _poetic _about you. Seriously she _never _shuts u- Ow!"

"Oh sorry, Sanford. My foot _slipped_."

With a shake of her head and a roll of her eyes, she dismisses me, "Whatever. Since twinkle toes here doesn't have any manners _whatsoever_, I'm Laura, by the way," holding out her hand, which Lilly promptly takes, "It's nice to meet you, Laura. We should get together before I leave so I can find out just what these things Miley has waxed _poetic _about me."

"Yeah, that's why I was here really. I was going to ask Stewart if she wanted to get coffee but now that you're here, we can totally reschedule after you guys are done… catching up," she walks to the door, opening it as she turns back to us, "Oh yeah, _definitely _looked like a whole lotta _catching up _going on against that door," she added, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively at us.

"Oh shut up, Sanford."

"No, _you _shut up, Stewart."

The smart girl that she is, Lilly interrupts us before we get any further, "So Laura, you're just across the hall?"

"Yep, any time Stewart gets boring, just come on over." She swiftly closes the door just as I was opening my mouth to form a comeback. I turn back to Lilly with an apologetic look, my thumb pointing to the door, "Sorry about her."

"I like her. She seems like fun."

"Yeah. She's a good friend." A quick lull presents itself before I blurt out what was exactly on my mind, "So, moment gone yeah?"

She nods her head in agreement, "Yeah. I think it was for the best. We should really talk before doing anything… more."

"You're right. You want to talk over dinner? I'm kinda hungry and I haven't actually eaten yet," right on cue, my stomach begins to rumble.

"Sounds like your stomach is agreeing for me already."

"Come on then. I'll take you to this café that Laura and I love going to."

* * *

We never got to talk over dinner. At least not about what we were meant to talk about. Like, where are we now? What are we going to do? What about our parents? How will we deal with the long-distance if we _actually _decide to be together again?

We talked about other things instead.

I told her about how I met Laura for the first time, and how we became really good friends. How she's like the sister I never had. I told her about my courses and how they were going. How I found it hilarious when my professor instructed the class to discuss the cultural and social effects of Hannah Montana as an exercise.

She told me anecdotes about the things she got up to with her friends, Brenda and Lee, and how they got her to do things she would never normally do. Like for instance, going to a strip club, and getting a lap dance. Though she did admit that she spent most of her time with her eyes shut. I laughed at the image of Lilly sitting in a middle of a strip club with her eyes closed, her arms waving around, trying to find her friends.

And she also told me about getting a tattoo.

* * *

_Flashback to dinner_

I sputter out my drink, "You _actually _got a tattoo? I can't believe it. A tattoo of what?"

She pulls her collar down to show me a tattoo of a small heart, right over where her heart lies.

A _blue _heart.

I choke in reply, "It's beautiful."

_

* * *

_

_Back to present_

"So, what's the verdict? Are you having a good time?" I ask her as we take the scenic route back to my dorm.

She gives me a coy smile before answering, "Hard not to when I'm with you."

"Charmer," I shot back, my face blushing red.

Smirking, she counters, "Only for you."

"What are we going to do, Lilly?"

Answering me with a sarcastic look on her face, "I was kinda hoping that you'd tell me since I don't _actually _live here."

"I mean, about _us_."

She quickly sobers up, "Oh."

"Yeah."

"Well, what do you want, Miley?" she inquires.

I knew there was only one answer to that, "I love you, Lilly. And I want to be with you. What about you? What do you want?"

"I want the same thing too."

"Really?" I couldn't hide the wonder in my voice after she said that.

With a quiet voice, she softly responds, "Of course. Miley, the one thing you will never have to doubt is how much I love you." She gives me a look, not believing how I could _ever _think differently.

"So what are we doing? Are we going to continue where we left off, or what?"

She shakes her head, "I don't think we can continue where we left off, Miles. Too much time has passed by and we're different people now. What if we end up not liking who we've become or are becoming?"

"But we're not going to know if we don't at least try."

"True," she pauses, taking a deep breath before continuing, "I'm just, scared of losing you again, Blue. It's _too _damn hard. I don't think I can do it a second time around," her voice hitches slightly, letting me know just how much it hurt her the first time.

I gulp down the huge ball of guilt and pain for Lilly, "I know, sweetheart. I feel the same way. I don't want to lose you again either." A small seed of an idea then plants itself in my mind, and I acknowledge it by letting Lilly know, "How about we leave what's happened in the past where it belongs, and we're just, moving on from it by sort of starting over?"

She looks at me curiously, _hope_fully, "What exactly are you proposing?"

"We don't have to be together just yet. Maybe we can just, I don't know, date?"

"Date?" she repeats, raising both her eyebrows in question.

"Yes," I answer before adding, "I mean, that way we can get to know this new version of us. The _college _us. We know the high school us, and we will always love high school us. But we have to face the fact that we're not as constantly in each other's lives as we used to be. And it's going to be difficult for us. Some days more so than others, but I'm willing to try it."

"You are?"

"Lilly, for you, I'm willing to do anything," then I give her the same look she gave me earlier, like I can't believe how she could ever think differently. She quickly leans up, kissing me on the cheek, making my face heat up from the somewhat intimate gesture. I cough and clear my throat, trying to cool myself down, "So how about it, sweetheart? Will you let me get to know this new you? Will you consider dating me again?" I look down at my feet, shyly waiting for her answer.

She reaches up her hand, tipping up my chin to face her, "I don't think there's anything I would love more." My breath catches at the look of absolutely _overpowering _love in her eyes, making me want nothing more than to kiss her until we're left happily breathless, until our knees are barely able to keep us standing. But I don't want to rush her, so I settle by hugging her tightly to me, kissing her forehead lightly. A thought then occurs to me to ask her, "How long are you here for anyway?"

"For this whole weekend." she pulls back from the hug, "Is that okay?" she asks, looking at me then back down, biting her bottom lip and I could _literally _see the second thoughts buzzing around in her head. _To hell with the rules. _Imitating her previous move, I tip her chin up to face me and I kiss her, slow and deep, letting her know that it was _definitely _more than okay.

* * *

We finally reached my dorm building and I stop our motion inside, having built up the courage to ask, "So, in the spirit of completely starting over, would you like to go out with me tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow night?"

"No, _all _of tomorrow."

"That's a long date. What exactly are you planning, Miss Stewart?"

"That's for me to know, and you, to find out, _tomorrow_."

"You have no idea, do you?" A knowing look crosses her face lets me know that I can't escape.

"No," I smile sheepishly at her arched eyebrow, "But, I'll think of something and it'll be _great_. Our second first date is a special occasion and what better time to start than tomorrow?"

"Good point. But what about tonight? The sleeping arrangements?"

"You're taking the bed, no contest."

"But, Miles-" I interrupt her before she could continue, "No, I insist. Seriously, Lilly. You had a long journey before you even came here and I want you to be comfortable, okay? We can switch tomorrow if you'd like."

"Alright, Miley. I'll sleep in your bed."

"So…?" I gesture with my hand that I'm still waiting for an answer to my previous question. Lilly looks confused and then realizes quickly, "Oh! Sorry, I mean, yes! I would love to go out with you tomorrow."

"Seal the deal with a kiss?" I wink and wiggle my eyebrows suggestively, implying that I was just kidding around, until I feel a soft pair of lips plant themselves on mine.

Tasting of strawberry, peppermint, and home.

I can't wait till tomorrow.


	6. Chapter 6

**A.N.**: Wow, the day I finally am able to upload the new chapter and doesn't let me do it. How annoying, right? So I had to go back to my Document Manager, copy and paste it onto one of my older stories. So hopefully, this works! Any grammar/spelling mistakes, let me know so I can correct it, thank you! :-)

Thank you so much for the reviews and the outpouring love for this fic. I am so, so, so sorry for having taken so long with this chapter. It has been ridiculous hectic lately at home and any spare time I had to myself, I rested. Like seriously, I'm so pooped most of the time now. But I finally found some time to write this chapter, yay.

I hope you'll enjoy this chapter. Next chapter will be the last one! I repeat, it will be the **final **chapter. And it will be coming along in a couple of days as I have actually finished writing that chapter and all it needs is just a thorough proofread and some edits and presto… Fanfic complete! And hopefully when I come back to upload, will be fixed and I can actually upload and not have to copy and paste, and then have to bold/italicise things 'cause that was kinda hurting my eyes a little bit, lol.

But for now, enjoy, :-).

With all that I am, I wish you love,  
Az

**Disclaimer**: I do not own the songs. They belong to Henry Mancini and Colbie Caillat, respectively.

**Chapter 6**

**  
**"First stop: Breakfast."

Lilly and I are just leaving my dorm, with still sleepy looks on both our faces. I feel a tiny ball of excitement growing slightly as I slowly wake up. This is it. Our second-first date.

"That'd be good, considering it's seven in the morning and I could _kill _for a cup of coffee. So where we going?" Lilly asks, her voice still husky from sleep.

"I was thinking that we could have breakfast at this diner I wanted to try out awhile ago but haven't really had the chance to do so."

"Sounds good to me. And what are the rest of your plans for today?"

"Hm well, I see us going to a matinee, then lunch with Laura. And you'll find out the rest later on. Trust me, you'll love it." _I hope so anyway._

"Fair enough. So what are we going to see then?"

"I was looking through the paper and saw that they were showing it just for this weekend. It's not far from the diner so we don't have to rush." Lilly stays silent waiting for me to reveal the name, but I know that she's going to love it, so I pause for dramatic effect. "_Breakfast at Tiffany's_."

Her sky-blue eyes widen in amazement, a happy grin crossing her face, "Oh, Audrey! I haven't seen that movie in so long. I don't want to jinx it but I think this date is going off to a good start."

* * *

_Two drifters, off to see the world,  
There's such a lot of world to see,  
We're after the same rainbows end,  
Waitin' round the bend,  
My huckleberry friend,  
Moon river and me._

We exit the cinema after the credits finished rolling, hand in hand, while Lilly hums along to the melody of _Moon River_.

"I've forgotten how much I love that movie. Thank you so much for taking me, Miles." She looks up at me with a brilliant smile on her face. Sometimes I don't think she knows how effortlessly she lights up my world when she smiles at me like that. It makes me work harder to catch my breath; makes me forget my words; but I would do everything I could just to see that smile in my direction.

"Anytime, Lils. I'm glad you loved it. You ready for lunch?"

"Heck yeah. We're meeting Laura at the restaurant right?"

I texted Laura before going in the theatre earlier that we should get together for lunch, and she agreed. "Yeah, she said she'll save a table for us. I'll text her to let her know we're on our way."

"Sounds great. I can't wait to finally talk to her and ask just what things you've been up to," she teased, an almost evil glint in her eye.

_Is it too late to change plans?_

* * *

_Kill me now._

"So we were running for the bus, and I was a little ahead than Stewart here. You'd think with those long legs, she'd be faster but no, she was trying her best not to _trip _over her own god-damn feet." She stopped to sip her water. "Anyway, I was running, and I could see the bus driver was closing the door so I knew we weren't going to make it, so I started to slow down to a stop. But then Stewart over here, she doesn't stop _running_, and with this loud voice she shouts, 'Is there a chance for us?!' And I was like, 'No!'. Then her words caught up to me, I started laughing and I said to her, 'You do realize now people are going to think that we just broke up and I was refusing to come back to you'. I swear to _fuck _she blushed like a fucking tomato."

Lilly lets out an uncontrollable laugh, clutching her stomach. "Oh Miley! What were you thinking?"

Feeling the beginnings of a blush rising on my face, I crossed my arms and huffed in annoyance, "I was _thinking _that I was asking whether we had a chance to get on the bus! I wasn't actually thinking about what my words meant until after that."

"Stewart has been a _constant _source of entertainment for me. Seriously, I don't know how she managed to be Hannah Montana when she's so freakin' clumsy all the time."

"You and me both," confides Lilly in a stage-whisper, making me pout in turn.

Truth be told, I am happy that my two best friends are getting along so well. Even if it is at my expense. I was worried that they might rub each other the wrong way, but Laura's easy-going manner and Lilly's friendly nature worked well together, allowing them to bond over the one thing they have in common for now: me.

Finally giving me a break, Laura asks, "So what do you two lovebirds have planned for after lunch?"

"I'm not too sure what Miley has planned since she won't actually tell me until _before _we actually do it." She turns to me with a mock-accusing look on her face.

I raise my hands in mock surrender. "_Excuse _me for wanting to surprise you." I stick my tongue out at her, smiling when she rolls her eyes back at me. "Anyway, I was thinking we could just be lazy and hang out at the park. Pack some snacks, bring my guitar. We could make an afternoon of it. Is that, I mean, does that sound okay with you?"

"Miles, don't be silly. You know I don't care what we're doing, as long as I'm with you. That's all that matters to me." She turns to me, to place a kiss on my cheek, and I feel my face start to heat up.

And as per usual, Laura interrupts the beautiful moment, "Wow, I really shouldn't be around you guys so much. You're making my teeth ache."

"Oh shut up, Sanford."

"No, you shut up, Stewart."

"You two really don't stop, do you?" asks Lilly, mirth in her voice rather than scolding.

Laura leans forward, pouting at Lilly, "You find that hot though, right?" She looks at me, giving me an exaggerated slow wink, making Lilly laugh out loud.

"Well, at least I know it'll never ever get boring when I'm around you guys."

* * *

"Do you still play?" Lilly asks me as she watches me tune my guitar. We're sitting underneath a large tree, providing us with good shade from the over-bearing sun. We laid out a picnic blanket over the grass, before settling down.

"Yeah, I still play. I've been writing some new songs too but I haven't really told anyone about that."

"How come?"

"I'm kind of happy living the normal life for now. You remember Hannah Montana's life was just getting more and more insane. You were there." I see her nod, "I knew I had to put a stop to it before I lost my ground."

It hurts a little bit, having to talk about my previous life as Hannah Montana. It was so good. _Too _good. The parties, the attention; it was all just too easy to stay in that cycle. Too easy to be in that world where my every whim was catered for. It was the best of _one _world, and I was quickly losing sight of my other world. I had always thought to myself that I'd stop before it got too far. I just didn't realize that it already had, when Hannah's career started hurting me worse than just made-up rumors. The paparazzi, the stalkers, the threats to kill me; I had to make it stop.

So one sunny Friday afternoon, Hannah Montana announced in a press conference, that she was retiring from her career, intending to live the rest of her life in a private location.

It's been two years since that press conference and I have not regretted my decision to retire for a single moment. There were many rumors circulating about where Hannah could have gone, and why. I may miss the life, performing for millions of people, but I don't regret it. And the last time I played in front of somebody was when I sang Lilly a song I wrote for her last summer.

"Have you played for anyone since?"

"No. I knew that if I was going to be playing for anybody again, it'd have to be you."

"Well then, is there anything that you can play for me now?" she asks, smiling shyly at me, and my heart flutters at the sight.

"I think I can think of something."

I strum a random chord, reacquainting my fingers with the guitar strings. I mentally go over the many songs I had written in the past few months, and I finally remember a song that I _know _would be perfect. I begin to strum, clearing my throat as I start to sing.

_I miss those blue eyes, how you kiss me at night  
I miss the way we sleep  
Like there's no sunrise, like the taste of your smile  
I miss the way we breathe_

_But I never told you  
What I should have said  
But I never told you  
I just held it in_

_And now, I miss everything about you  
I can't believe that I still want you  
After all the things we've been through  
I miss everything about you, without you_

_I see your blue eyes, every time I close mine  
You make it hard to see  
Where I belong to, when I'm not around you  
It's like I'm not with me_

_But I never told you  
What I should have said  
No I never told you  
I just held it in_

_And now, I miss everything about you (still you're gone)  
I can't believe that I still want you (and loving you, I never should have walked away)  
After all the things we've been through  
I miss everything about you, without you_

My voice trails off at the last note, then I take a deep breath. It's been so long since I've played for anybody that I'm getting those post-performance nerves. Worrying over how my voice sounded, or if I slipped up on a chord. I didn't look at Lilly the whole time I was playing as I had my eyes closed. I finally look up from my guitar, and it takes everything in me to remember to breathe. Lilly's looking at me, with an intense gaze in her stormy blue eyes. I can see from the look in those eyes, and the way she's biting her bottom lip, that she's trying her hardest not to cry. I take her hand in mine, kissing her palm, placing it on my face. It takes a few seconds before I feel her thumb stroking my cheek, and I close my eyes again.

I keep them closed, when I suddenly feel her arms circle around my waist. I place my own arms around her shoulders, pulling her closer to me. And for this moment, I am content. I am in my sweetheart's arms again, and the world feels so right.

"Oh Miley," she breathed out.

* * *

"So how's the date going, cowgirl?" Laura asks me with an excited grin, while I decide on what to wear for dinner with Lilly. I'm in Laura's room, getting ready while Lilly's getting dressed in mine.

Lilly and I left the park not too long after our hug, where we stayed in each other's arms for the rest of that time, talking quietly and just, reconnecting emotionally.

I pick up a pair of black dress pants, holding it up as I look into the mirror, "I think it's going well."

"You _think _it's going well?"

"Well I can't really say on Lilly's behalf, can I? But I'm enjoying myself. It just feels so good to be with her again. Like the world is balancing out, y'know?"

"No, not really. I've never really been in love."

"Never, really?"

"Well, I've had crushes on people, but most of them never lead to more. I mean, you had a crush on Lilly first right?"

"Yeah, of course."

"Then there is that moment when you're with her, or you see her and you realize, that it wasn't just a crush anymore. When you felt more for her than just the fluttering butterflies in your stomach, or the sweaty palms. Because you started _caring _about how her day went and whether she's okay. That's the moment you know that it's not a crush anymore. The moment you know that you're falling in love. And except for one time, I've never really had that moment with anyone."

I let out a breath, realizing that I've kept it in while Laura was talking. We've always been good friends, who joke around more often than we have serious discussions about things like religion or politics. But this was the first time she was actually talking about _love_. I had only one burning question in my mind, so I ask quietly, "When did that one time happen, Laura?"

She sighs quietly, looks up, shocking me with sad blue eyes that breaks my heart, "It wasn't that long ago, but I don't really want to talk about that right now, Miley. You don't know her anyway. Let's just focus on you and Lilly, okay?"

I look down at her for a few more seconds before conceding, "Sure, Laura. Whatever you say." Still holding the dress pants in my hand, I walk over to sit next to her on her bed, putting my arm around her waist offering my comfort. She lays her head on my shoulder and I tighten my hold on her.

A thoughtful silence surrounds us as I rack my brain trying to remember all of the people that she has met in college, wondering who this person could be. Not many people caught her attention so I knew I had to find out whoever this person was, hoping I could somehow help.

In the corner of my eye, I could see her, sitting quietly, probably thinking of a way to diffuse the situation. And most likely with a crude comment, if I know her well.

"So…" she drawls, "You think you're going to get lucky tonight? 'Cause seriously, you _need _to get laid, Stewart."

She laughs out loud after I playfully shove her in response.

* * *

"Thank you for a beautiful day, Miley. It really has been a great day, and dinner was just amazing."

It _was _amazing. We were relaxed, happy and seemingly content in each other's company. We made each other laugh, and smile till our faces hurt. Something about this afternoon broke the final wall, like we could finally be more intimate with each other, freeing us to flirt shamelessly with each other. We did our best to forget that Lilly was leaving tomorrow. It hurts that she has to leave but we didn't let it dampen our evening.

We're walking up the stairs to my dorm room, my arm around her shoulders. I nod my head in hello as we pass by some of the girls I knew from the dorm.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it, sweetheart."

"I guess it's that time to call it a night, huh?" She walks toward my door, while I lean against the wall beside Laura's door.

"Yeah."

"Also that time for the goodnight kiss, right?" she inquires with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes.

"Yeah…" I trailed off.

"So, are you going to hold me and kiss me and then proceed to leave me _breathless_?" she asks me, while placing the back of her hand on her forehead as if she's swooning.

"Yeah. And sort of no."

"Sort of no?" The mischievous twinkle replaced with a confused gaze.

I push myself off the wall, purposefully walking towards her, lowering my voice to a raspy whisper that I know she loves, "I _am _going to hold you and I _am _going to kiss you. You and I will be _both _be breathless after, but there will be no _leaving _happening whatsoever." I take hold of her hips, pulling her against me.

"Oh," she says in a whisper. "Good," her voice hitching a little, as I feel her tremble slightly with anticipation.

"Lilly?" I call out her name, observing her taking slow deep breaths; her slightly hooded eyes as she waits for me to make my move. Her hands gripping my arms as if she's anchoring herself. Our lips now inches away from each other.

"Yes, Miley?" she replies quietly.

"I'm going to kiss you now."

"Okay," she acquiesced.

I tilt my head before placing my lips on hers in a soft gentle kiss. Her hands squeeze harder on my arms, and I hold her tighter, deepening our kiss. Arousal starts to burn slowly in my abdomen when our tongues meet and her tongue is moving over my own. I feel her hands gliding up my arms, up to my neck and then in my hair. I let out a small moan at the pleasurable sensations of her fingers massaging my scalp, and running through my long hair. My own arms are rubbing up and down her back, occasionally scraping it with my nails. My knees nearly buckle when Lilly quietly whimpers. I bring my hands back down to her hips as I push her gently against the wall, creating friction between our bodies.

I slide my hand underneath her shirt, feeling her hot skin underneath my sweaty palm. Our lips detach and we try to catch our breaths and calm our pounding hearts. I nuzzle her neck with my nose, taking in her scent while I move my hand up and done her back. Lilly hums out a guttural groan that I feel against my chest, making the arousal burn brighter.

God, how this girl affects me.

I gently bite her neck while keeping her close to me. She lets out a shaky breath when I lick where I bit, and my hand is edging closer to the clasp of her bra. Through my lust-induced haze, I hear her call out to me in a husky whisper, "Miley."

I close my eyes, locking my hands around her waist, hugging her before I pull away a little, sighing, "We should stop, shouldn't we?" My breath catches when I see her dilated eyes and her flushed cheeks; there is no mistaking that we both want this. Badly.

"Yeah. I mean, I really want to go on but, this is only our first date."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. I just, got carried away." I brush my hair back in an attempt to quell the growing arousal inside me.

"I know. Me too," she reveals, with a smile on her face and love in her eyes.

I return her smile, give her a small peck on the lips, before opening the door to my room, "So, time for bed?" My eyes widen when I realize what I said, "I mean to sleep. _Sleep_!"

She giggles at my embarrassing slip, then places a hand on my blushing cheek, "Chill, Miles. I know what you meant. And anyway, I don't put out on the first date, y'know." She winks at me before sauntering inside my room, entrancing me with an intentional sway of her hips.

This girl is going to be the death of me.

_

* * *

_

"Miley, come on. This is me. We can _share _a bed. It's not like we've never done that before," she says insistently.

It took us awhile to get dressed for bed, trying to keep our desires in check that I had to spend an extra fifteen minutes to splash cold water over my face. And now she's sitting on my bed while I'm on the floor, determined that that's where I would sleep again. But Lilly had other plans.

"Are you sure?" I ask hesitantly, feeling my whole body react at the thought of pressing my body against hers. _Down, cowgirl. No rushing her._

"We're only sleeping. Get up here."

I got up on the bed at her command, and under the covers, still leaving a small distance between us. Which is nearly impossible considering that my bed is a single.

"Miles, I don't have cooties. Come on, keep me warm." She took my hand, lacing our fingers together, pulling me closer behind her, until there was not even a hair's breadth was between us. I shifted a little more, nuzzling my nose at the nape of her neck, breathing in everything Lilly.

Everything _home_.

"You comfortable?" softly she asks me, while stroking the back of my hand with her thumb.

In return, I whisper in reply, "Yeah."

"Sweet dreams Blue," she says before I feel her pull my hand up to leave a small peck on my palm.

I kiss the back of her neck after responding, "You too sweetheart."

_I love you._


	7. Chapter 7

**A.N.: **Aw Liley cuddling.

So here it is, the final chapter. Awwww… I know. I have known from the beginning that the ending of this story would be a Liley reunion, basically the two girls being back in each others' lives, whether as a couple of not I had not decided then. The other thing I didn't know was how I was going to make it happen. Then the more and more I thought about it, there was really only one real way to handle it.

I love that y'all have your theories/worries about Laura and her lost love (and I'm sure I know who you're thinking because it's who I would think of too), and unfortunately you won't get your answers in this final chapter. I purposefully left that question open for the sequel I've got planned in my head. Yep, sequel, :-D.

So here it is, everybody, the final chapter. I hope you like.

* * *

**Chapter 7**

I'm sitting on my bed when I hear a soft click of my door opening and closing, and I know it's Laura coming to check up on me. She walks over to sit next to me, pushing herself up to lean against the wall, then lays a hand on my shoulder, quietly asking, "So she's gone back, huh?"

"Yeah, left a couple of hours ago," I sigh wistfully.

I feel a reassuring squeeze on my shoulder, "I like her. You definitely did not exaggerate on how cool she is." She takes her hand off, to place it in her lap.

I smile proudly before responding, "Yeah."

"And dude, she's _smokin' _hot."

Turning to berate her, "Hey, that's my girl you're talking about, so watch your mouth, Sanford." I mock-glare at her to make my point until she raises her hands up to concede.

"Your girl huh? So you two are officially back together now?"

"Well, no, not yet. We decided that even though we love each other and we want to be, we live too far away from each other to do anything about it. So, we're just going to play it by ear for now. You know, writing to each other, calling and all that."

"So…" Laura turns quiet as she tries to process what I told her, "You're basically… _courting _each other now?"

I laugh at her choice of words, "I guess you can call it that."

"What if something happens that'll make you guys not get back together?"

"We'll work through it. After all, it's never easy being a meant-to-be."

"Oh-my-_god _Stewart! Teeth, _aching_!" She exclaims, pointing repeatedly to her mouth, pretending to put on a pained face. I laugh, playfully shoving her away from me.

"Yeah well, get used to it Sanford. She's my girl and I'm going to be so _achingly _sappy that you'll need an insulin shot every time you hang out with us," I kid.

She groans in response, making me laugh harder.

After a few moments passed, she says quietly, "All jokes aside though, I'm really happy for you, Miley. I know that even though you smiled and joked around, you still weren't that happy. You were missing Lilly a lot."

"I thought I was good at not showing that."

"Maybe to most people, and me at first. But the more I got to know you, the more I saw it. That look of longing in your eyes for the one you lost."

I turn to Laura, surprised, "You saw that?"

"Hard not to notice it, Stewart. We kinda did hang out a lot, y'know," she teased, making me roll eyes at her. She continued, "At first I thought it might have just been homesickness, but, it seemed stronger than that." She pauses to take a breath, "So I figured it had to be about somebody," she concluded.

"Thanks for being there for me, Laura. I know I hardly ever show it, but I really am glad you're my friend." I lean my head on her shoulder, grateful that I have a friend who I know, would be there for me, no matter what.

"Do you think you'll really be together again?" she asks.

I look behind me, up at the bulletin board, at the new picture of us that Lilly tacked onto my wall before she left, focusing on her beaming smile and I smile in turn, whispering confidently, "I know it."

* * *

Not long after, Laura left me still sitting on my bed, looking back on my life before I sent Lilly that letter. Back to a time when I was merely coasting along, never really throwing myself into the deep end. I was perfectly content going to lectures and doing my work, hanging out or partying with Laura and the rest of our friends. I was fine with just thinking and longing for Lilly, rather than doing anything about it. I thought I was fine with spontaneously writing Lilly letters with no intention of sending them to her to read. And I thought I had gotten used to feeling that jolt in my heart, of the ache hitting me when I think about her and what happened to us. Wondering where she was, and how she was.

Of all the spontaneous decisions I made in my life, writing that letter was the best I ever made.

* * *

_Dear Lilly, _

_Over a month ago, I wrote this girl a letter. This girl just so happens to be the one and only girl that I have ever loved with everything I had in me. She was my high-school sweetheart, though we technically got together the summer after high school ended. But I loved her even before then. _

_It was at night in the beginning of summer, we were on the beach, sitting silently in our favourite spot watching the waves return to shore, when I first kissed her, letting her know that my feelings for her ran deeper than just of friendship. I just, couldn't stop myself from looking at her. She looked so beautiful in the pale moonlight, her cheeks flushed pink from the cold air, with the bright stars reflected in her eyes. _

_At that moment, there was nothing I wanted more or needed more, than to kiss her. With a nervous lump in my throat, I called out her name. My breath catching when she finally turned to look at me with those piercing sky-blue eyes that never fail to look into my soul. My heart was pounding so hard, and if it were possible, the butterflies in my stomach had butterflies in their stomach. Her eyes followed me as I leaned forward until our lips were inches away from each other. Quietly, I begged her not to hate me, and then I kissed her. _

_I held her face in the palms of my hands, like I was holding a precious treasure that I knew I could never let go. With my lips on her own soft lips, I thought there couldn't have been a better feeling. But after a few seconds, I felt her lips moving. She was kissing me back! Her own hands moving up to my neck and into my hair, deepening our kiss, determined to keep our lips pressed together. And I knew then, it was the beginning of something even more beautiful than our friendship already was. _

_We were so in love. We spent almost every waking hour together. Nobody knew about us. It was an unconscious agreement to not act any differently when there were people around us. To act like the best friends we were. A difficult agreement to follow through, as when I'm with her, I never notice anybody else. Just her. That tunnel vision severely intensified even more in the days after we kissed. But somehow, apart from a few close calls, we managed to do it for almost that whole summer, before we were off to college. _

_Until one night. _

_We thought her parents would be away for a couple of nights. But we didn't know that they would come back because they forgot something from their room. Because of that, we got careless. Reckless. We left the door unlocked. And we were so, _focused_, on each other that everything else in the world, the sounds of the waves crashing over the shore, the birds chirping in the late night; it all faded into nothing. The only things that existed to me were the heated look of love and desire in her cerulean gaze that made my own heart soar, the feel of her hands moving over me that made me shiver with excitement and the sound of my name uttered from her soft lips that made me feel like the only one in her world. _

_What didn't exist to me, was the sound of a car parking in the driveway, the rushed steps on the stairs. Footsteps belonging to her parents because they were worried about the unlocked door, and the unlit lamps. Little did they know what was to greet them when they opened her bedroom door. _

_They swiftly kicked me out and became like Big Brother to her. I tried coming back for her, once. I tried to be her White Knight and save her from the people who told her that loving me was wrong and unnatural. They made their move by calling my father, who proceeded to take my car, my cell-phone and my computer away. _

_Check-mate. _

_We were torn apart by fear and hatred. Night and day, I would weep tears into my pillow, wishing with all that I had, that this nightmare would end or that this nightmare wasn't real. This nightmare of trying to exist without her. There were moments when I would cry so hard, that I would choke on my tears and I couldn't breathe. That's what it was like, being without her. I just couldn't breathe. _

_The only bright light at the end of the tunnel was that college was going to start soon and I knew my father couldn't stop me from going. In fact, he thought that was what I needed to get out of this "phase". The day that I was leaving, I tried to see her again. Just to say goodbye. My brother helped me by distracting our father while I snuck out to her house. As soon as I walked up the path towards her house, I saw her standing in front of her window, gazing into the distance, looking like she was wishing she was anywhere but there. Any breath I had within me escaped when I saw her again, and I was dumb-struck, falling in love with her all over again. _

_I was ready to call her name when I was met with an obstacle, in the shape of her mother, who saw me and walked outside to meet me. The blazing look of anger and hate in her eyes was strong enough to make me shrink inside of myself. A few moments passed before I told her, with all the strength of my love for my girl, that I was _never _going to apologize for loving her daughter the way she deserved to be loved. That all I ever wanted was to make her happy. That if they couldn't see that, if they couldn't love their daughter because of this, then it was their loss. I took one more look at my sweetheart, who was still oblivious to what was happening on her front yard. I took a mental photograph of how she looked then, so strikingly beautiful in her melancholy, and I walked away, heading back home as I was out of time. Until recently, she never knew that I was there. _

_Once college began, I threw myself into everything. I kept myself distracted trying to forget what happened at the end of the summer. But my mind would always end up trickling back to her. Wondering what she was doing, and whether she was okay. Hoping that she was. _

_Months would go by, until one day, after reading a book that I had read a few times before, I decided to write her a letter, telling her that I loved and missed her. Apologizing for not trying harder, letting her know how miserable I was without her. I hoped she would write back letting me know whether she still felt the same. _

_One week went by, then another, and another, until the next thing I knew, five weeks had gone by. Five weeks and then finally a letter came. She wrote to me. My sweetheart wrote back. I was elated and filled with hope. I felt like it was going to be the beginning of us._

_She told me a lot of things. She told me about her friends in college. About this girl that she says reminds her of me, though with green eyes that she happens to find _mesmerizing _(Yes, I admit. I was _jealous_.) But then she told me how it was me that she saw, in her heart and mind's eye. She apologized for taking so long. She said that she still loved me, and that she missed me. _

_And then an amazing thing happened. As soon as I had finished reading the letter, and was about to use the phone number she left with the letter, she was knocking on my door. Though I only found out it was her after she practically pushed me back inside my room and slammed me against my door. She was trying to apologize but all I wanted to do was grab hold and kiss her until there was nothing else in the world except us. And we were well on the way until a _'friend'_ of mine barged in on us. _

_We spent the next two days, just being with each other. Slowly healing the wounds made over the summer. It'll take longer than just those two days, but I know that we're more than willing to work it through. We got caught up in what was happening in each other's lives. She told me the things she couldn't say in a letter and I did the same. _

_That was this weekend. And that girl was you. You, Lilly Truscott. The girl that I have loved for so long that I don't even remember the moment when I first started to fall. All I know is that I have always loved you, and will always love you._

_You left just this morning, and I'm missing you so much. Thank you for being here, for knowing before I did that I would need to feel you here with me after reading your letter. Words cannot express how happy your presence has made me. I know it'll be awhile before we get back to how we were before everything, but as long as we have each other, we'll make it through. I know we will._

_I hope you had a safe journey home, sweetheart. I'll see you soon._

_I love you, Lilly. I miss you._

_Love always,_

_your true_

_Miley_

* * *

I lay down my pen, taking a deep breath. Reading through all that I've written, I smile, trying to control the bubbling feeling of hope for a happy future. I draw a little heart at the top corner of the letter, coloring inside it. Placing my lips on the paper, I leave an imprint of my puckered lip gloss. I neatly fold the letter and slide it inside the envelope after writing Lilly's name and address.

I lean back against the back of my chair, to pick up my guitar from its case. I start strumming before I sing quietly to myself.

_I miss those blue eyes, how you kissed me at night_

_I miss the way we sleep_

_Like there's no sunrise, like the taste of your smile_

_I miss the way we breathe_

**--- THE END ---**

(for now)

* * *

**Final Author's Note**

So, I'd like to take this last bit here to give my sincere thanks to my readers (those who story favorite-d and/or story alert-ed the story) and of course, my reviewers. I truly appreciate all the love that you have given to my story that started completely on a whim and intended as a one-shot. Its now grown to seven chapters and will have its sequel in the near future. I would include names in here but I don't want to leave anybody out since you _all _have given me the motivation to work harder on my writing, whether you have reviewed once or thrice, or were just reading it and found you enjoyed it. And to tell you the truth, I needed a swift kick up the ass on that as I have been majorly slacking in the creative department. It has been an absolute joy being able to write again.

I hope you all will join me in **A Song for Miley** (if you haven't already, i.e.), but if not, that's okay. The sequel will for this story will come as soon as I'm done with A Song for Miley, so you can definitely keep your eyes peeled for that.

_May the love hidden deep inside your heart, _

_find the love waiting in your dreams._

_May the laughter that you find in your tomorrow, _

_wipe away the pain you find in your yesterdays._

With all that I am, I wish you love,  
Az


End file.
